Ways to Set Boundaries After Abuse
Healing after an abusive relationship is such a deep and important journey, especially for women of faith who want to protect their peace and rebuild their identity in Christ. The Bible offers some beautiful guidance on setting boundaries and valuing yourself as God’s precious child. Let’s explore some ways rooted in Scripture that can help:
1. Recognize Your God-Given Worth
- Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- Your identity is in Christ, not in what others have done to you (2 Corinthians 5:17).
- This understanding is the foundation for setting healthy boundaries.
2. Guard Your Heart and Mind
- Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
- This means protecting yourself emotionally by limiting contact or communication with those who harm you.
- It’s okay to say no and to distance yourself to preserve your peace.
3. Seek Wisdom and Counsel
- Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
- Talk to trusted Christian friends, mentors, or counselors who can support and guide you in setting boundaries.
4. Pray for Strength and Discernment
- Ask God for wisdom to know when and how to set boundaries (James 1:5).
- Pray for peace and protection as you rebuild your life (Philippians 4:6-7).
5. Create Physical and Emotional Distance
- If possible, limit or remove yourself from environments or people that trigger fear or pain.
- This might mean changing phone numbers, blocking on social media, or avoiding places where you might encounter the abuser.
6. Be Assertive in Saying No
- Jesus said in Matthew 5:37, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’”
- It’s healthy and biblical to clearly communicate your limits without feeling guilty.
7. Focus on Self-Care and Restoration
- Take time to nurture your body, soul, and spirit (Mark 6:31 – Jesus encouraged rest).
- Engage in activities that build your confidence and remind you of God’s love for you.
8. Remember You Are Not Alone
- God promises to be close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
- Lean on Him and the community of believers for ongoing support.