Stalking Post-Separation

1. Physical Surveillance

• Following the survivor to work, church, or social gatherings.
• Parking near her home or frequenting places she visits regularly.
• “Accidentally” showing up at the same stores, events, or routes she takes.
• Using mutual acquaintances or neighbors to report her movements.

2. Digital and Cyberstalking

• Monitoring her online activity (social media posts, comments, check-ins).
• Creating fake accounts to follow, message, or spy on her.
• Sending threatening or manipulative emails, DMs, or texts.
• Hacking or guessing passwords to access personal accounts, photos, or cloud storage.
• Using spyware, GPS trackers, or “Find My Phone” features to track her location.

3. Proxy or Third-Party Stalking

• Recruiting friends, family, or even children to gather information (“What’s your mom up to?”).
• Manipulating mutual connections into delivering messages or checking on her.
• Involving community members, coworkers, or church leaders to “monitor” or “help” her.

4. Using Children to Monitor

• Questioning children after visits about their mother’s routines, home, and personal life.
• Sending items (toys, phones, clothing) with hidden tracking devices.
• Using parenting apps or school portals to monitor her activities indirectly.

5. Technological Surveillance

• Installing tracking devices on cars, phones, or shared electronics.
• Using smart home technology (doorbells, cameras, thermostats) to watch or control the environment remotely.
• Exploiting shared accounts, devices, or Wi-Fi networks to access private information.

6. “Coincidental” Appearances and Harassment

• Appearing unexpectedly at places she frequents, pretending it’s accidental.
• Leaving notes, gifts, flowers, or objects near her home or car to remind her of his presence.
• Driving by her residence or workplace repeatedly.
• Calling from blocked or unknown numbers to keep her on edge.

7. Institutional Stalking

• Filing repeated court motions or complaints to force in-person contact.
• Showing up at court hearings, counseling sessions, or mediation uninvited.
• Contacting her workplace, church, or children’s school under false pretenses to gather information.

8. Social and Community Intrusion

• Spreading rumors in her community to keep her socially isolated.
• Showing up at her church or faith community to “reconcile” or maintain visibility.
• Befriending her support network or new partner to stay informed.

9. Psychological and Symbolic Stalking

• Sending “silent messages,” like placing familiar objects in her path or using specific phrases to trigger fear.
• Posting cryptic messages online that only she would understand.
• Using Scripture or spiritual language (“God told me we belong together”) to justify ongoing contact.

10. Legal and Bureaucratic Stalking

• Using court filings, subpoenas, or custody exchanges as legitimate-looking excuses to monitor or approach her.
• Requesting unnecessary in person exchanges or using legal discovery to obtain her address or private details.
• Filing false police reports or welfare checks to gain access to her home or location.

The Purpose of Stalking Post-Separation

The abuser’s goal is to:

• Maintain power and control even after separation.
• Instill fear and anxiety, keeping the survivor hypervigilant.
• Force contact and visibility, ensuring she cannot heal in peace.
• Reassert dominance, showing that boundaries don’t apply to him.

Stalking often escalates over time and is a strong predictor of future violence, making it one of the most serious forms of post-separation abuse.