Legal Abuse-Post-Separation
“Post-separation abuse can be defined as the ongoing, willful pattern of intimidation of a former intimate partner that includes legal abuse, economic abuse, threats and endangerment to children, isolation and discrediting and harassment and stalking.”2
Legal Abuse
Legal abuse tactics that abusers commonly use against survivors after separation, often referred to as “litigation abuse” or “paper abuse.” These tactics are designed to maintain control, inflict emotional and financial harm, and continue the dynamics of coercion through the court system.
Family court is the primary setting to effect post-separation abuse. Predominantly victims must face the family court system with less resources than their counterpart thus unable to obtain adequate representation.
The former intimate partner will overwhelm the court with false evidence and false accusations, gaining cooperation from third parties and court professionals the courts to continue the abuse.
The family court system has proven to lack understanding of intimate partner violence. Claims of abuse by a victim are often minimized, ignored or beget serious repercussions. Alternatively, the abusers’ accusations are received as truth. Too many times, the abuser is given amble parenting time, even full custody. The protective mother’s concern for the children’s safety and well-being used against her.
Perpetrators will use the legal system to publicly humiliate their victims.
US Department of Health and Human Services (2022) reported that out of a total of 3.3 million reports, only 1,223 reports (0.04%) of child abuse were intentionally false”.3
Legal Abuse Tactics
- Excessive or Frivolous Filings
- Flooding the court with unnecessary motions, petitions, or complaints.
- Forcing the survivor to repeatedly appear in court, draining finances and emotional energy.
- Filing for modifications (custody, visitation, support) without legitimate cause.
- Manipulating Custody and Visitation
- Demanding sole custody or using children as leverage to punish or intimidate the survivor.
- Falsely accusing the survivor of being unfit, alienating, or mentally unstable.
- Refusing to follow parenting plans to provoke more legal battles.
- False Allegations and Defamation
- Accusing the survivor of child abuse, neglect, or domestic violence to shift blame.
- Filing restraining orders or police reports under false pretenses to harm credibility.
- Spreading misinformation in legal documents or to professionals (CPS, therapists, GALs).
- Financial Manipulation through the Courts
- Withholding child or spousal support payments to create financial hardship.
- Hiding or transferring assets to avoid financial obligations.
- Forcing the survivor to spend large sums on legal defense through repeated actions.
- Using the Legal System for Contact
- Exploiting court-required communications (like co-parenting apps or mediation) to continue harassment.
- Filing motions to maintain access to the survivor under the guise of legal necessity.
- Misusing Discovery or Evidence
- Demanding excessive documentation or irrelevant records to overwhelm the survivor.
- Attempting to access confidential medical or counseling records to humiliate or control.
- Misrepresenting evidence or taking statements out of context.
- Courtroom Intimidation and Manipulation
- Using charm, deception, or feigned victimhood to manipulate judges or attorneys.
- Staring, glaring, or making subtle gestures in court to intimidate the survivor.
- Portraying the survivor as “angry” or “vindictive” to discredit legitimate concerns.
- Dragging Out Proceedings
- Requesting unnecessary continuances or delays to extend control and increase costs.
- Refusing to settle or negotiate in good faith.
- Filing appeals or complaints just to prolong contact and conflict.
- Weaponizing Legal Professionals
- Recruiting or misleading attorneys, mediators, or custody evaluators.
- Claiming bias or filing grievances against the survivor’s lawyer to intimidate.
- Using expert witnesses to distort facts or pathologize the survivor.
- Parallel Legal Harassment
- Filing simultaneous cases (civil, criminal, CPS, family court) to overwhelm the survivor.
- Using out-of-state or multiple jurisdictions to complicate proceedings.
- Threatening lawsuits (defamation, slander, etc.) to silence or intimidate.
The Goal of Legal Abuse
The ultimate goal isn’t justice, it’s control, exhaustion, and re-traumatization.
Legal abuse allows the abuser to:
- Keep the survivor entangled in contact.
- Deplete her financial and emotional resources.
- Undermine her credibility and confidence.
- Delay or prevent closure and healing.